how to understand men

 

how to understand men

 

References

In this article: Understand the differences between men and women  Avoid stereotypes Understand men more deeply  Related articles  References

If you want to understand men, the first thing to know is that men and women actually come from the same planet. Even though scientific studies have shown only a few differences between men and women, many myths claim that they are much more different than they really are. If you want to understand men better, then you should consider the differences and similarities between men and women while keeping in mind that each man is an individual with his own needs and hopes.

 

 

 

Part

1

Understand the differences between men and women

1

Know that men tend to be more competitive. Research has shown that men are, for example, more likely than women to accept jobs whose pay depends on performing better than others. And you probably know from personal experience that men tend to be more interested in (doing or watching) sports than women  [1] . Many men act this way because they thrive on competition and find satisfaction in possessing skills that allow them to dominate others. If you're playing against him in a game, don't be surprised if he suddenly becomes ruthless and also becomes a bad player when he starts losing. Accept this behavior regardless and move on.

Encourage his competitive leisure activities. You will notice that many of the typical male activities such as gambling, hunting, watching or playing sports, and extreme sports, focus on an element of competition. Because winning the competition can be important for men, support activities that can bring your man that kind of satisfaction in a relatively safe way.

2

Be aware that men are more visual. Sight is one of the strongest human senses and processing all the things we see takes up a lot of daily brain scanning. However, men are still more likely than women to respond to visual cues  [2] . As a result, you may find that men, for example, prefer looking at a map to understand directions rather than hearing them, or they may insist that they need to see a problem in order to solve it. So accept this tendency as an innate trait that they cannot control.

Don't be too offended if he looks at other women. Being more receptive to visual stimuli means a man may be more inclined to stare at (or even stare at) attractive people. But no need to get angry: just because a man looks at a woman dressed in a tight blouse doesn't mean he automatically wants to have sex with her. These little looks are usually harmless and are more of a reflex than a sign that your relationship is doomed.

3

Know that men and women do not value the same parts of a conversation. Research indicates that this difference begins in childhood, when little girls bond by sharing secrets and discussing problems while boys bond through common activities and interests  [3] . If you expect your boyfriend or husband to be like the female person you have the best and even better conversations with, you will be disappointed. Men tend not to build strong relationships through conversation and change topics more frequently than women  [3] . On top of that, men don't make as much eye contact as women when talking to someone: their gaze wanders more in the immediate area where they are.

Instead of punishing him for this difference and complaining that he never listens to you, choose your battles. If you really want to discuss an important topic with a man, state the topic clearly and directly. Say, “It's important to me that we talk about this topic, and it would mean a lot to me if you could listen carefully. If you matter to him, he will make the effort to actually listen to you very carefully.

Expect to hear a solution. Another side effect of how men view conversations is that they tend to focus on how to solve a problem. If you want a man to just comfort you, rather than advise you on what to do, tell him that at the start of the conversation. Remember, he's trying to help you find a solution not because he wants to boss you around, but because he cares about you and thinks that's what most people do. benevolent do.

EXPERT ADVICE

 Allen Wagner, MFT, MA ALLEN WAGNER, MFT, MA

Marriage and Family Therapist

When your partner tries hard to communicate, encourage them . Allen Wagner, Family and Marriage Therapist, tells us, "When someone tries something new, like complimenting you, and you stop them because it's a 2nd level compliment and you expect it to be 10th level, you'll never get a 10th level, it'll go back to 0... If you encourage him by saying something like thank you so much for telling me that , he'll feel good and want to do it again. »

4

Understand that men can't always identify emotions as quickly as women can. Think of the old stereotype of a husband having no idea what he did to infuriate his wife. He might not be deliberately ignorant: he really might have no idea why she's angry or upset. Because women have more developed limbic systems, they are better at classifying and deciphering emotions, a skill that was useful when women were primarily in charge of maintaining social ties in ancient civilizations. Men, on the other hand, lag behind women in studies of how genders identify and control human emotions  [4] .

Don't expect him to read your mind. If you're mad at a man, tell him as calmly, clearly and reasonably as possible. Once he's aware of how you're feeling, he can take steps to remedy the problem. If you don't tell him, then don't rely too much on him to understand your signals.

Give him space. Because men aren't used to discussing their personal issues with a friend, you may find that they tend to deal with these issues on their own. If a man closes off when you try to discuss his personal issues, take a step back and give him space to work through them on his own. Most men will let you know if they want to talk about it.

5

Know that it is more difficult for men to be “just friends” with women. Studies have shown that in platonic relationships with women, men are more likely to be attracted to their female friends and also more often think they are sexually attracted to them. Although women also show signs of sexual attraction to their male friends, they are more likely to hold back when they know they are in a committed relationship. Men become less discouraged when their girlfriends have mates and continue to show signs of attraction  [5] .

However, that doesn't mean that all of your male friends have crushes on you.

6

Understand that men and women may act differently in the workplace. Although they may perform the same tasks or cohabit in the same office, men and women have a different approach to how to work. Men tend to be more focused on getting a task done while women are more focused on the process of getting there. Women ask more questions while men find it harder to listen. However, both sexes feel that the opposite sex is not sensitive enough to their needs in the workplace  [6] .

Men and women also tend to react differently in the workplace in terms of stress. Women will openly express their concerns about a failed project while men will withdraw and seek solitude to face failure.

Women and men also seek appreciation in different ways. Women are happier if they are complimented during group work while men like to be noticed.

Part

2

Avoid stereotypes

 Image intitulée Cope With Being Turned Down Step 2

1

Don't assume that all men want to sleep with all women. Even if you're convinced that your boyfriend, friend, or co-worker would want to sleep with every woman in an ideal world, that's "not" the case. Even though men look at the women around them and can have wandering eyes, they are still selective when it comes to actually having sex with someone.

If you are convinced that your boyfriend really wants to sleep with all women, then what are you doing together? It's one thing to have a problem in your relationship because he actually wants to sleep with all the women, but if there's a problem because you believe that because he's a man he necessarily wants to sleep with anyone, then you have to revise your thinking.

Of course, you can occasionally bump into a sleazy guy. But remember, men can brag about how many women they sleep with. That doesn't mean they want to take the leap.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 8

2

Don't think that men totally hate "girly" movies and hangouts. You might think your boyfriend hates when it's up to you to choose where and what to do in the evening, but that's not really the case. Sure, your boyfriend may scold and moan if you ask him to watch "Love Actually" for the tenth time, but he actually likes doing what you feel like doing because it makes you happy.

Remember, if your boyfriend really doesn't want to do something, he just won't do it. And the same goes for you.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 9

3

Don't think that men are totally insensitive. Think Tony Soprano: a big guy on the outside and a big fluffy bear on the inside. It's true that women may like to be more open about their feelings and talk more, but that doesn't mean men aren't sensitive, can't be hurt, and can't empathize or empathize. Men may be more reluctant to show their emotions, but that doesn't mean they don't have feelings as strong as yours.

Men are "not" cavemen who are only obsessed with basic needs: food, sex and sleep. Keep that in mind.

 Image intitulée Break up With Your Boyfriend when You're Shy Step 10

4

Don't think that men think "all the time" about sex. Sure, men might think about sex more often than women, especially if they're teenagers, but that doesn't mean they always have one thing on their mind. Like everyone else, men think about their friends, family, hopes, dreams, and careers. If a sexy woman in heels walks by, well, obviously, they'll probably be momentarily distracted, but that doesn't mean the inside of their heads looks like the porn aisle of the neighborhood video store.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 11

5

Don't think that men are only interested in appearances. When it comes to looks, men and women are all superficial. You might think that men are only interested in a woman's body, adding bonuses if she has a pretty face, but that's not the case when a man is actually interested in a woman. Don't think the only thing you have to do to impress a guy is hit the gym, put on eyeliner, and wear tights. You need to impress her with your charm, your brains, and your ability to carry on a conversation.

Of course, some men are more obsessed with looks than they should be. But the same can be said for some women.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 12

6

Don't think that men are more likely to cheat than women. You might think men are known for cheating, who can forget the Tiger Woods scandal? However, women, as much as men, are capable of cheating, even though women are more looking for emotional connections whereas men are looking for physical connections. Don't think your guy is going to cheat on you just because he's a man. If he does, it's because he's looking for a connection outside of your  relationship .

That doesn't mean there aren't real rotten things out there. But women can also be garbage.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 13

7

Don't think that men don't like to commit. You might think that every guy you meet is terrified of committing and wants to run away as soon as you say the phrase, "I think you should meet my parents." In fact, men engage as much as women. You're really thinking about the 20% of men who are truly commitment phobic. Keep in mind that there are plenty of women who are just as scared of getting serious with someone.

If the object of your love is afraid to commit to you, then don't tell yourself that it's because he's a "typical guy". There are many other reasons why a man doesn't want to commit, such as lack of experience or the pain he felt in a previous relationship.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 14

8

Don't think that men are intimidated by strong women. Of course, men can be intimidated by strong women, whether you're Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey. But, in general, men are more attracted to confident women who know what they want and are comfortable taking action. Don't try to act like a "girl," play dumb, or giggle stupidly to impress a guy. If you want a man to take you seriously, then you need to show him your true potential.

To be strong means to be confident. And everyone is attracted to insurance.

Part

3

Understand men more deeply

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 15

1

Learn to understand the male ego. If you want to understand men more deeply, then you should try to understand the male ego.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 16

2

Leave some space for your boyfriend. Mastering this process can improve your relationship in the long run.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 17

3

Learn how men behave in long-term relationships. It can help you understand the process a man goes through.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 18

4

Learn how to help your boyfriend if he's going through depression. It is a challenge in understanding men.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 19

5

Improve your relationship with your boyfriend. If you have a better idea of ​​how to improve your relationship with your boyfriend, you will understand men better.

 

 

Advice

Remember: the information in this article is based on generalities. So they might not all apply to the men you know.

If your boyfriend is depressed, give him a comforting hug. It will soothe him.

 

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References

In this article: Understand the differences between men and women  Avoid stereotypes Understand men more deeply  Related articles  References

If you want to understand men, the first thing to know is that men and women actually come from the same planet. Even though scientific studies have shown only a few differences between men and women, many myths claim that they are much more different than they really are. If you want to understand men better, then you should consider the differences and similarities between men and women while keeping in mind that each man is an individual with his own needs and hopes.

 

 

 

Part

1

Understand the differences between men and women

 Image titled Understand Men Step 1

1

Know that men tend to be more competitive. Research has shown that men are, for example, more likely than women to accept jobs whose pay depends on performing better than others. And you probably know from personal experience that men tend to be more interested in (doing or watching) sports than women  [1] . Many men act this way because they thrive on competition and find satisfaction in possessing skills that allow them to dominate others. If you're playing against him in a game, don't be surprised if he suddenly becomes ruthless and also becomes a bad player when he starts losing. Accept this behavior regardless and move on.

Encourage his competitive leisure activities. You will notice that many of the typical male activities such as gambling, hunting, watching or playing sports, and extreme sports, focus on an element of competition. Because winning the competition can be important for men, support activities that can bring your man that kind of satisfaction in a relatively safe way.

 Image titled Understand Men Step 2

2

Be aware that men are more visual. Sight is one of the strongest human senses and processing all the things we see takes up a lot of daily brain scanning. However, men are still more likely than women to respond to visual cues  [2] . As a result, you may find that men, for example, prefer looking at a map to understand directions rather than hearing them, or they may insist that they need to see a problem in order to solve it. So accept this tendency as an innate trait that they cannot control.

Don't be too offended if he looks at other women. Being more receptive to visual stimuli means a man may be more inclined to stare at (or even stare at) attractive people. But no need to get angry: just because a man looks at a woman dressed in a tight blouse doesn't mean he automatically wants to have sex with her. These little looks are usually harmless and are more of a reflex than a sign that your relationship is doomed.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 3

3

Know that men and women do not value the same parts of a conversation. Research indicates that this difference begins in childhood, when little girls bond by sharing secrets and discussing problems while boys bond through common activities and interests  [3] . If you expect your boyfriend or husband to be like the female person you have the best and even better conversations with, you will be disappointed. Men tend not to build strong relationships through conversation and change topics more frequently than women  [3] . On top of that, men don't make as much eye contact as women when talking to someone: their gaze wanders more in the immediate area where they are.

Instead of punishing him for this difference and complaining that he never listens to you, choose your battles. If you really want to discuss an important topic with a man, state the topic clearly and directly. Say, “It's important to me that we talk about this topic, and it would mean a lot to me if you could listen carefully. If you matter to him, he will make the effort to actually listen to you very carefully.

Expect to hear a solution. Another side effect of how men view conversations is that they tend to focus on how to solve a problem. If you want a man to just comfort you, rather than advise you on what to do, tell him that at the start of the conversation. Remember, he's trying to help you find a solution not because he wants to boss you around, but because he cares about you and thinks that's what most people do. benevolent do.

EXPERT ADVICE

 Allen Wagner, MFT, MA ALLEN WAGNER, MFT, MA

Marriage and Family Therapist

When your partner tries hard to communicate, encourage them . Allen Wagner, Family and Marriage Therapist, tells us, "When someone tries something new, like complimenting you, and you stop them because it's a 2nd level compliment and you expect it to be 10th level, you'll never get a 10th level, it'll go back to 0... If you encourage him by saying something like thank you so much for telling me that , he'll feel good and want to do it again. »

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 4

4

Understand that men can't always identify emotions as quickly as women can. Think of the old stereotype of a husband having no idea what he did to infuriate his wife. He might not be deliberately ignorant: he really might have no idea why she's angry or upset. Because women have more developed limbic systems, they are better at classifying and deciphering emotions, a skill that was useful when women were primarily in charge of maintaining social ties in ancient civilizations. Men, on the other hand, lag behind women in studies of how genders identify and control human emotions  [4] .

Don't expect him to read your mind. If you're mad at a man, tell him as calmly, clearly and reasonably as possible. Once he's aware of how you're feeling, he can take steps to remedy the problem. If you don't tell him, then don't rely too much on him to understand your signals.

Give him space. Because men aren't used to discussing their personal issues with a friend, you may find that they tend to deal with these issues on their own. If a man closes off when you try to discuss his personal issues, take a step back and give him space to work through them on his own. Most men will let you know if they want to talk about it.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 5

5

Know that it is more difficult for men to be “just friends” with women. Studies have shown that in platonic relationships with women, men are more likely to be attracted to their female friends and also more often think they are sexually attracted to them. Although women also show signs of sexual attraction to their male friends, they are more likely to hold back when they know they are in a committed relationship. Men become less discouraged when their girlfriends have mates and continue to show signs of attraction  [5] .

However, that doesn't mean that all of your male friends have crushes on you.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 6

6

Understand that men and women may act differently in the workplace. Although they may perform the same tasks or cohabit in the same office, men and women have a different approach to how to work. Men tend to be more focused on getting a task done while women are more focused on the process of getting there. Women ask more questions while men find it harder to listen. However, both sexes feel that the opposite sex is not sensitive enough to their needs in the workplace  [6] .

Men and women also tend to react differently in the workplace in terms of stress. Women will openly express their concerns about a failed project while men will withdraw and seek solitude to face failure.

Women and men also seek appreciation in different ways. Women are happier if they are complimented during group work while men like to be noticed.

Part

2

Avoid stereotypes

 Image intitulée Cope With Being Turned Down Step 2

1

Don't assume that all men want to sleep with all women. Even if you're convinced that your boyfriend, friend, or co-worker would want to sleep with every woman in an ideal world, that's "not" the case. Even though men look at the women around them and can have wandering eyes, they are still selective when it comes to actually having sex with someone.

If you are convinced that your boyfriend really wants to sleep with all women, then what are you doing together? It's one thing to have a problem in your relationship because he actually wants to sleep with all the women, but if there's a problem because you believe that because he's a man he necessarily wants to sleep with anyone, then you have to revise your thinking.

Of course, you can occasionally bump into a sleazy guy. But remember, men can brag about how many women they sleep with. That doesn't mean they want to take the leap.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 8

2

Don't think that men totally hate "girly" movies and hangouts. You might think your boyfriend hates when it's up to you to choose where and what to do in the evening, but that's not really the case. Sure, your boyfriend may scold and moan if you ask him to watch "Love Actually" for the tenth time, but he actually likes doing what you feel like doing because it makes you happy.

Remember, if your boyfriend really doesn't want to do something, he just won't do it. And the same goes for you.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 9

3

Don't think that men are totally insensitive. Think Tony Soprano: a big guy on the outside and a big fluffy bear on the inside. It's true that women may like to be more open about their feelings and talk more, but that doesn't mean men aren't sensitive, can't be hurt, and can't empathize or empathize. Men may be more reluctant to show their emotions, but that doesn't mean they don't have feelings as strong as yours.

Men are "not" cavemen who are only obsessed with basic needs: food, sex and sleep. Keep that in mind.

 Image intitulée Break up With Your Boyfriend when You're Shy Step 10

4

Don't think that men think "all the time" about sex. Sure, men might think about sex more often than women, especially if they're teenagers, but that doesn't mean they always have one thing on their mind. Like everyone else, men think about their friends, family, hopes, dreams, and careers. If a sexy woman in heels walks by, well, obviously, they'll probably be momentarily distracted, but that doesn't mean the inside of their heads looks like the porn aisle of the neighborhood video store.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 11

5

Don't think that men are only interested in appearances. When it comes to looks, men and women are all superficial. You might think that men are only interested in a woman's body, adding bonuses if she has a pretty face, but that's not the case when a man is actually interested in a woman. Don't think the only thing you have to do to impress a guy is hit the gym, put on eyeliner, and wear tights. You need to impress her with your charm, your brains, and your ability to carry on a conversation.

Of course, some men are more obsessed with looks than they should be. But the same can be said for some women.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 12

6

Don't think that men are more likely to cheat than women. You might think men are known for cheating, who can forget the Tiger Woods scandal? However, women, as much as men, are capable of cheating, even though women are more looking for emotional connections whereas men are looking for physical connections. Don't think your guy is going to cheat on you just because he's a man. If he does, it's because he's looking for a connection outside of your  relationship .

That doesn't mean there aren't real rotten things out there. But women can also be garbage.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 13

7

Don't think that men don't like to commit. You might think that every guy you meet is terrified of committing and wants to run away as soon as you say the phrase, "I think you should meet my parents." In fact, men engage as much as women. You're really thinking about the 20% of men who are truly commitment phobic. Keep in mind that there are plenty of women who are just as scared of getting serious with someone.

If the object of your love is afraid to commit to you, then don't tell yourself that it's because he's a "typical guy". There are many other reasons why a man doesn't want to commit, such as lack of experience or the pain he felt in a previous relationship.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 14

8

Don't think that men are intimidated by strong women. Of course, men can be intimidated by strong women, whether you're Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey. But, in general, men are more attracted to confident women who know what they want and are comfortable taking action. Don't try to act like a "girl," play dumb, or giggle stupidly to impress a guy. If you want a man to take you seriously, then you need to show him your true potential.

To be strong means to be confident. And everyone is attracted to insurance.

Part

3

Understand men more deeply

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 15

1

Learn to understand the male ego. If you want to understand men more deeply, then you should try to understand the male ego.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 16

2

Leave some space for your boyfriend. Mastering this process can improve your relationship in the long run.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 17

3

Learn how men behave in long-term relationships. It can help you understand the process a man goes through.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 18

4

Learn how to help your boyfriend if he's going through depression. It is a challenge in understanding men.

 Image intitulée Understand Men Step 19

5

Improve your relationship with your boyfriend. If you have a better idea of ​​how to improve your relationship with your boyfriend, you will understand men better.

 

 

Advice

Remember: the information in this article is based on generalities. So they might not all apply to the men you know.

If your boyfriend is depressed, give him a comforting hug. It will soothe him.