How to reassure a person

How to reassure a person

 

References

In this article: Be there for him  Show kindness and care  Express one's feelings  Related articles References

It is very common that we want to cheer up our loved one when we notice that he (she) is anxious or unsure of himself. Just being by his side and caring about him can make all the difference. Reassure your loved one by making the effort to simply be there for them, by showing kindness and by expressing your feelings to them.

 

 

 

Part

1

Be there for him

1

Make the effort to make yourself available. If you have a friend who is anxious, it will be very difficult for them to overcome this feeling without your help. You must therefore make yourself available to help him deal with it. Show him that he comes before everything else in your life by at the same time stopping everything you're doing to be by his side  [1] .

For example, suppose a friend says to you, "I'm terrified just to think that I'm going to have to face my exam soon." You won't reassure him by saying "can we discuss this afterwards?" » Systematically find a time slot, even if only for a few minutes, to discuss with him. You can say, "Okay, can you tell me more about what's wrong?" »

Sometimes you don't need to say anything. It is enough that you sit with him in silence for him to feel more serene and reassured.

2

Listen to him carefully. Active listening is a powerful tool that can strengthen the relationships we have with others. Its use also makes it possible to appease and reassure a person who is anxious. Very often, when you have a loved one who is distressed, you are tempted to get them to calm down. The best way to do this is to lend a listening ear  [2] .

Look him in the eye, turn to him, and nod your head to encourage him and show him that you're paying attention to what he's saying. As soon as you notice he's finished talking, try paraphrasing everything he's said to you to make sure you get the meaning of his words and message. You can paraphrase it by saying: “If I understand correctly, you say XXX”.

3

Make him feel understood. It's very important that you let your friend know that it's completely normal for them to feel the way they're feeling. To achieve this, validate his emotions. This is essential for him to feel reassured  [3] .

For example, if your friend says he's afraid of falling prey to a stalker, you can say, “Wow! I would also be afraid if I had the impression of being followed”. 

4

Tell him he won't always feel this way. Fear and anxiety are feelings that can cause a person to become obsessed with the worries of the moment and completely forget that their feelings are only temporary. Reassure your loved one by reminding them that this will not be forever. You can even remind him of a time when he had to deal with such a situation  [4] .

Say, “I know you are going through a very difficult situation, but everything will be fine. Don't forget how difficult it was for you when your father died. It was very hard for you, but you knew how to show great courage to get out of it. You'll get away with it this time too." 

As you try to comfort him, remember that sometimes it's normal not to be well. You can say, "It's normal for you to feel depressed right now. I know I would be if I were you. Take all the time you need to work through your feelings.

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5

Be patient. You can't try to reassure a person and want them to be in a good mood immediately. It's impossible. So you can't push him to get better again. This is a little hard to admit, as we often tend to always want to see our loved ones calm and happy, but rushing things will only make the situation worse  [5] .

If you have a friend who is scared or anxious, you may need to listen to them and validate their feelings over and over again before they start to get better. Be patient and don't try to rush things.

 

 

Part

2

Show kindness and care

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1

Offer physical contact, if appropriate. Giving a caress or a gentle hug to a friend who is feeling anxious or upset is a wonderful gesture. If you are used to having physical contact in your relationship, use it immediately to comfort him  [6] .

This gesture doesn't have to be grand or exaggerated. Pat him lightly on the back while he talks to you about what's wrong, or give him a quick hug. It can have a big positive impact on him.

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2

Ask him how you can help him. It may seem obvious, but ask her the question of what you can really do to help her. Don't always tell yourself that you know what to do to "fix" the problem. Find out what he wants  [7] .

You can say, "Is there anything I can do to help you?" »

If he has no idea what he really wants, find a more practical way to help him. You can help him prepare his dinner or go for a walk with him to get some fresh air and take his mind off things.

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3

Give him small gifts. As soon as the immediate cause of the stress subsides, reassure him with a small gift so he knows you love him and really care about him. You don't need to give him an expensive gift, just something that will make sense to  him .

For example, if your friend is having a panic attack, you can offer them stress stones. He can pass them between his fingers as soon as he feels he is about to have a crisis, this will help him focus more on the present moment.

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4

Put it in front of a mirror. Rarely do people see themselves the same way their loved ones do. Make a small thoughtful gesture by helping your friend or partner see themselves as you see them. Take him in front of a mirror and tell him what you see.

For example, say, “Come here and look. I want you to see yourself as I see you. You are kind, beautiful and strong”. 

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5

Help him overcome his fear. If he is afraid of a particular activity or event, gradually help him to face and overcome this fear. Find out if he would like you to help him face his fear and overcome  it .

For example, if he (she) fears being surrounded by crowds of people, try taking him/her to crowded places. You can start by showing him pictures of these places and then go to the events by car, but avoiding leaving the latter once you arrive. You will notice that gradually he will make the effort to come out on his own and stand in the middle of the crowd for a while at least.

If he (she) suffers from a serious problem of anxiety or phobia, leave it to a professional in the matter. Encourage him to overcome his fears by approaching a psychotherapist for treatment.

6

Remind him of his qualities. Get him to remember his qualities that have helped him in the past. Point out to him his qualities and anything you admire in him, such as his perseverance, creativity, kindness, or tenacity in the face of adversity. Also remind him that these aspects of his personality are more important than what is currently happening in his life.

Say, "I've always admired the way you've been able to chart your own path, and I'm sure you'll be able to adapt to that situation this time too." You always find very ingenious solutions to your problems and you do everything possible to make them a reality”.

You can also say, "I know how hard it is to be disciplined at work for being honest with a customer, but it's more important to be honest than to side with your boss. hierarchical. What would happen if this had had dramatic consequences on the client's physical and mental integrity? »

Part

3

Express one's feelings

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1

Tell him how much you care about him. Since he is a loved one, it is important that you can reassure him by letting him know what he really means to you. Admittedly, this will not make his troubles disappear, but it will allow him to feel less alone when it comes to facing them  [10] .

You can say, “I love you so much. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but I'm with you." 

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2

Tell him how he made your life better. People who suffer from anxiety often tend to live in fear, which makes them feel like a burden to those around them. Your loved one may not know how precious they are to you, so you should let them know  [11] .

You can say, “I know you never noticed this, but once I was in a bit of a slump. I didn't even think I could get out of this, but it took you calling me to make me start to feel better. Without even knowing it, you made my day so much better.” 

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3

Encourage him. When people are afraid or anxious, they only focus on their weaknesses. So know that you don't need to criticize him further, rather you should remind him of his qualities. It is only at this price that he will be able to feel comforted, reassured and overcome his fears  [12] .

For example, if you're going to an event with an anxious friend, you can say, "Sandra, I really like the color of your dress and your makeup is flawless." You can also praise his characters by saying, "Greg, you're very good at listening to people. I really don't know what I would do without you." 

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4

Motivate him. If your friend is nervous about attending an upcoming event or activity, try to motivate them. Encourage him by reminding him how talented he is and letting him know that you believe in him and his  abilities .

You can say, "I know you're worried about the test, but you shouldn't. You are the best ! You know your subject perfectly, so I know you will pass this exam without any problem! »