How to escape the grip of unhealthy people
How can you help an unhealthy INFP become healthy?
In this article: Recognize toxic people Dealing with toxic people think about yourself Related articles References
You are in a great mood. Your day is going well. You suddenly feel drained of energy with low spirits. Why ? You might have crossed paths with someone with a bad attitude, someone who puts a spell on your mood. Learn to identify and avoid these toxic personalities to stay positive. Learn to take charge of your life.
Part
1
Recognize toxic people
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Know the basic characteristics of toxic people. Everyone has days without. However, when it comes to toxic people, it can be a constant mindset. If a person is completely negative several days a week, you might be dealing with a toxic personality. Observe the following characteristics:
great nervousness
sadness mixed with anger
constant recriminations
a milk soup character
constant criticism
a negative or cynical worldview
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Pay more attention to the energy of the people around you. If you have an optimistic worldview, it can sometimes be difficult to recognize the toxic people around you. By learning to recognize the energy of a particular person, you will be able to identify negativity more easily.
Have you ever walked into a store where you were greeted by enthusiastic salespeople? It's a pleasant experience that makes you want to come back. Being surrounded by negative people is like walking into a store where the atmosphere is heavy and the clerks mutter a hello when you pass. You will realize it immediately.
Pay attention to body language and tone of voice. Pay more attention to the intonation of other people's voices than to what they say. You can spot it during a chat. What impression does this person give you? What does she seem to think when you talk together?
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Monitor people who are regularly angry. Anger, yelling, and negative criticism are major signs of a toxic personality. Angry people need a lot of help, but it's not your job to punch them. You are also going to feel angry if you are around this kind of person. Don't get caught up in this negativity.
Anyone who regularly raises their voice is an angry person. People who know how to control their emotions don't feel the need to shout.
Also watch out for anger that bubbles up insidiously. Some people won't say much, but will express themselves through bad body language and keep their resentment to themselves. These people might explode at odd times, when their anger doesn't seem justified.
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Watch out for people who have a negative view of the world. Do you know someone who finds a dark side to anything? Misfortune always seeks company, which is why people of this type will often want to meet in groups to compare their misfortunes. They will then try to drag you into it.
People with a pessimistic view of the world will often compare their misfortunes trying to prove that they are the most unhappy. These people often see the mistakes of others as major failures and find it very difficult to forgive.
Watch for people who talk constantly and even with pleasure about their failures and sadness. Anyone who criticizes the mistakes of others or comes across as too cynical is a toxic personality.
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Monitor people who need constant attention. People who lack confidence are unable to create their own self-esteem and often cling to others to obtain it. They want attention and need to be the center of the conversation. This constant need to be heard can drag you down.
Look to Facebook and other social networking sites for signs of this kind of personality. Boastful or obsessive posts can be a sign of a toxic personality.
This kind of person often brings conversations back to themselves or changes the subject of the discussion to talk about their own life.
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Watch for people spreading gossip. Instead of supporting others, gossip feeds on envy. Gossip can flourish in some cases, making you feel closer to people who like to gossip about others, but it becomes harder to avoid. You are not an isolated case if you have already been caught in the act of gossip.
People who gossip are constantly comparing themselves to others, which is a great way to lead to disappointment and failure. Don't worry about what happens to your neighbors, worry about what happens in your own garden.
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Watch for people who try to scare others. For this person, everything is scary. The anxiety this person feels about the rest of the world can be contagious. Fear gives people a sense of security, and communicating that fear gives them purpose. This person is really depressing.
Watch out for depressing people who always find a negative side to anything. If you try to tell them about the amazing vacation you have planned, this person will remind you of the deadly diseases you can catch on the plane or the dangers associated with this type of trip.
Part
2
Dealing with toxic people
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Think about the people around you. Are these people helping you to be your best or are you just there to absorb their negativity? Using the criteria described in the previous section, try to make a list of potentially toxic people in your life and come up with a specific plan for how to deal with them. Consider the following relationships:
your partner
your exes
your friends
your family members
your office colleagues
your neighbors
your knowledge
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Try to accept people for who they are. Toxic personalities are only toxic if they have a negative effect on you. You can befriend angry people. You can empathize with negative people. That doesn't necessarily mean they have a problem. Accept people as they are and don't let them influence you.
Accept yourself too. You may not be able to hang out with negative people if you are naturally optimistic. It doesn't diminish you. You should just know what is good for you.
Negative emotions have an expiration date. They won't last and they will soon end. You don't need to carry the burden of negativity once the exchange is over.
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Show empathy. Return to the sender the negative speeches of those who want to spread their anxiety. If, for example, they keep telling you that you will fail at your new job, ask them what will happen if you succeed. Help them see the positive side instead of seeing endless negativity.
Don't try to change others. Remember that you can't change others, only yourself, don't get bogged down in excuses because you feel responsible for others or because you feel pity for them. You can really help a negative person when they no longer influence you .
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Learn how to mute the sound. If you don't like what someone says, stop caring. Focus on the positive and constructive parts of the discussion and think of something else when the other ventures into negativity territory.
Support the person and be optimistic when speaking up. Don't get carried away if someone close to you keeps saying their job is terrible and they hate it. Tell him he at least has the advantage of eating for free in the canteen. This helps create some distance between the two of you. He will display his pessimism less often, if you show him that you do not want to discuss these subjects under these conditions.
Use a cue to remind you to sort out what you want to hear. You could tug on a section of your hair, dig your fingernail into the palm of your hand, flick your wrist, or pat your knee. Remind your body that you are exposed to negativity and should be avoided.
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Change the subject if you don't like what you're being told. Just talk about something else if you are bombarded with negativity. Whenever someone tries to drag the discussion back to a negative topic, find a different one. Do this if someone close to you tells you that their job sucks and their boss is a jerk. Tell him there's at least football to take his mind off things and ask him which game he watched last Sunday [2] .
Keep calm if someone tries to blame another person for a certain problem. Try to find a solution to this problem and look on the bright side, instead of getting carried away.
Stick to the facts when dealing with angry people. Tell them what needs to be done to solve a problem. If that person's anger increases, move away from them and give them time to calm down.
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Start reducing your interaction with toxic people. If you find it difficult to deal with the negativity that others bring into your life, it may be time to significantly limit your interactions with these people. You can't change other people's behavior, but you have the right to ignore them.
End it if you regularly see a pessimistic person. See the disappearance of this person from your life as a sign that your relationship did not deserve so many sacrifices.
Be honest with any toxic person who asks if you have a problem. Tell her that you can't stand her negativity because she is constantly and you can't stand her presence. Tell her that you like her, but that you will see her less often.
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End toxic relationships. End the relationship with someone whose negativity is really disrupting your mental health and well-being. Stop seeing her if she can't be more optimistic around you.
Don't try to issue ultimatums when it comes to someone's personality. If you say to him: we can continue to see each other only if you are more positive , it is like telling him that you are ready to keep your relationship only if this person changes. Drop it, if that's not possible. Be honest.
Part
3
think about yourself
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Think about your own needs and your own wants. What is the most important thing for you? What do you want to do in life? Know your likes and dislikes to get an idea of where you want to be in the future. Listen to what others have to say, but remember that ultimately it's up to you. You are the captain of the ship that is your life.
Write down your short-term and long-term plans on a piece of paper. Hang it on the wall where you can always remember it and keep track of your goals. It will also help you in difficult times and when you feel the urge to return to your negative thought patterns [3] .
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Make your own decisions. A lot of people go through life thinking my parents wanted me to be X that's why I became X or my wife wanted to go to X so we went to X. Do you want to let others decide your life? Make a choice, for better or for worse, and live with the consequences.
Don't let others or their preferences serve as excuses for you. To say that you would be happier if something was different is to say that you are not responsible for your own life. It is true that compromises are sometimes necessary with the people who are close to you, but do not let them rule your life.
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Surround yourself with people who think like you. Why would you want to spend time with people you don't like? Surround yourself with people who help you develop a healthy body and a healthy mind. Find optimistic, joyful and happy people [4] .
The more time you spend with these kinds of people, the happier and more cheerful you will feel. Their nurturing positive attitudes will help you stay on the straight and narrow.
Consider making changes in your life if necessary. Move to a new city, or find yourself another job if you are surrounded by negative people where you work. End a romantic relationship and start a new one if your partner puts you down instead of encouraging you.
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Be positive wherever you go. Use an example that inspires you from the most positive people in your life to distance yourself from toxic people. In turn, become more like the optimistic people you know by seeing the best in others and complimenting the good you see in others. Accept and give compliments gratefully, look people in the eye , and smile .
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Make relaxation a priority in your life. If you're constantly battling negativity from people around you, you need to make a serious commitment to unwinding. Find techniques that calm you down, allow you to focus, and that you can turn to when you need to recharge your batteries. Here are some of the most common relaxation techniques:
meditation
yoga
walking
a martial art
Advice
Find something to be thankful for every day.
Spend as little time as possible with negative people. Even if it's only five minutes a day, that's five minutes you're not spending being positive and productive.
Don't worry about the opinion of those who think you are antisocial if you want to distance yourself from certain people. You should become the most important person in your own life. You know what's best for you.
Use a cute little picture frame to put a simple note inside: Be Grateful Forever . Put it where you will see it as often as possible.
Force yourself to analyze your romantic relationships until it becomes a daily habit that you cannot live without. You will find that this helps you stop thinking about negative encounters, which will then be replaced by more harmonious, happy and productive thoughts.
Warnings
Provide for your basic social needs. Protect yourself so that you don't get overwhelmed by someone's negativity and protect your happiness.
People with mental illness or injured by a toxic individual will sometimes exhibit these characteristics as well. If they mistreat you, walk away from them, whatever the cost, you don't deserve such treatment. However, consider supporting people who are simply needy and don't abuse you, as they will no longer be toxic, but utterly charming, when they resolve their problem.
Even if you decide to support a toxic person, you should realize that you are not responsible for their change. You should only be there to help him through a more difficult time. You don't have to, you only do it if you can handle it, keep healthy distances between her and you, and if she doesn't abuse you in any way.
Certain behavioral problems such as narcissism, overbearing antisocial character or megalomania are personality disorders. These four cases in particular are difficult for professionals to deal with and tend to become toxic and malicious. In this type of case, it is not advisable to want to come to the rescue of the person, especially if the latter refuses to be helped.
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