How to break the ice
In this article: Affective relationships At work In society in general Related articles References
In many situations, it is important to start by breaking the ice. This will allow for more productive and enjoyable conversations. No matter your situation, wikiHow has some ideas for you!
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Affective relationships
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Admit that you are nervous. Going on a first date is nothing like meeting someone in any other situation... There are a whole bunch of things that can tend to make us more nervous than usually ! Admitting that you're nervous on a first date or just meeting someone new can be a very effective icebreaker. It's likely that the person in front of you is also nervous, putting into words how you both feel will help dissipate the tension.
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Pay close attention to whoever you are talking to and comment on what you see. Study its appearance very carefully. Try to notice the little things that are unique to him, in the way he dresses or behaves. Pay attention to his way of speaking, his accent. Also note if the person is wearing something especially pretty, unique, or looks homemade. Comment on what you notice.
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Ask the person concerned to ask you something. If you convince her that you're okay with talking and that she can ask you questions, she'll feel more comfortable. This will obviously help break the ice and facilitate the budding relationship. A phrase such as "Don't be afraid to ask me questions" could do just fine. You could also give direction to the discussion yourself, with phrases such as “If you're wondering about my peg leg, don't be embarrassed. I don't mind talking about it. »
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Be straightforward. There are certain advantages to speaking your mind when it comes to matters of the heart. If you meet someone you like and would like to get to know them better before starting an intimate relationship, tell them directly. Some might take it the wrong way, but most people (especially the most charming people) will be pleasantly surprised if you upset the rules of the game. You might start by saying something like "Excuse me, I saw you (e) across the room and I almost gasped. I just wanted to introduce myself, otherwise I would never have been able to forgive myself . »
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Comment on the name of your interlocutor. If he or she has a relatively unusual name (slightly outdated, from a particular ethnicity or a little different from the basic Sarahs and Johns), take the opportunity to ask him a question about this name. For example, you could ask him if his name is a reference to someone, how his parents chose this name, if he likes this name, etc.
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Ask him to decide the outcome of a debate. The sneakiest, yet effective way to break the ice with someone you don't know yet is to ask them for their opinion on some debate. For example, say something like, "Buddy says that shirt makes me look like Bill Cosby in his blues." What do you think ? or "All my friends say guys don't stand a chance with girls with short hair." What do you think ? »
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At work
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Do some research. Never forget to do your research before any business meeting, whether you're meeting one or three hundred people. Find out as much as possible about the company and the key people in the meeting. Has your new partner worked for another company before? Is the company you are about to visit announcing a major reorganization? Gather this kind of information; you will be able to start the conversation.
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Ask them how they came to work in this industry. To start a conversation with anyone you meet through your work, it might be a good idea to ask them how they got to where they are today. Most people take unexpected routes to get where they are, so the conversation might get really interesting!
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Ask them to talk about an award or recognition their business has received recently. You can find this kind of information easily, if you do some research beforehand. Just make sure this accolade is relatively new, so they have something to say in case they haven't been at this company for a long time [1] .
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Distribute Skittles. To break the ice in a large group of people, pass out a bowl of Skittles or small colorful candies. Then ask each person to answer a question for each of the candies they took. Invent a color code corresponding to the colors of the candies. For example, the question "Where did you grow up?" will apply to the color blue. A green candy will lead to the following question: "What show is your guilty pleasure when you watch television?" »
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Refresh your knowledge of popular culture and sports. It may seem like a nightmare to you if you're not particularly drawn to sports or popular culture. Nonetheless, you can't deny the fact that popular culture is (by definition) the lowest common denominator. So apply yourself to browsing the entertainment section and the sports section when you read the newspaper or a news site on the Net. You will find that it will make it easier to have conversations with many people [2] .
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Treat your employees, partners, or anyone you meet like an adult. The techniques used to break the ice at work often turn out to be games. You usually notice that a few people enjoy these kinds of games, but most just feel like you're treating them like kids (since the same kinds of games are used in school). In no way do you want to humiliate your employees or the people you work with by giving them this impression. Instead, try to find ways to break the ice like adults. This often involves rolling up your sleeves and starting the conversation yourself!
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In society in general
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Give compliments. To make a new friend, a sincere compliment is often effective. Find something you honestly appreciate or admire about the person involved and let that shine through in your voice. Do not hold back ! Everything is subject to compliment: something the person is working on, their personality, their style or whatever you can think of.
Just avoid commenting on people's anatomy!
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Unleash the idiot in you. Going a little silly is a way to cheer up people who aren't comfortable, showing them that they have nothing to fear from you. Use this approach especially if you know that some people tend to find you serious or intimidating. For example, order a drink by saying “An Appletini. Take it easy on the tini...” or read their horoscope to someone with a voice from beyond the grave after asking them their astrological sign.
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Assume your role again. Admit right away that you're new to the area or don't go out much and ask for tips on the area, fun things to do, or good places to eat. People quickly become more comfortable and talkative when you ask them to talk about what they love.
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React to what is happening around you. You will easily find subject to comment if you are attentive to what is happening around you. Changes in the architecture, new buildings being erected, someone offering help to a stranger, upcoming events etc. Go all out to strike up a casual conversation with someone you've just met.
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Ask for a favor. This technique should be used sparingly, but it can be a great way to strike up a conversation with someone. Ask someone for a small favor (hold your drink, save your place in line, grab something you can't reach, point you in the direction, etc.). Make sure it doesn't take him longer than 30 seconds. Thank the person warmly, before starting a casual conversation.
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Ask the person concerned what they are eating or drinking. To strike up a conversation with someone at a restaurant, coffee shop, or anywhere else related to food, ask them a question about what they are eating or drinking. Comment on how delicious the dish smells and ask where he (or she) got it. From there, you can probably start a discussion about the food in the area, the ingredients that go into the dish, and so on.
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