How to win back someone's trust

 

How to win back someone's trust

 

References

In this article: Admit his betrayal  Apologize to your partner  To prove himself  Related articles References

The best relationships have always struggled. If you've betrayed your partner's trust, you may save your relationship by earning their trust back. Show your spouse that you've made up your mind to work things out. You have the opportunity to restore that trust, with attention and time.

 

 

 

Part

1

Admit his betrayal

1

Be responsible for your behavior. Also admit what you have done. Lying will only undermine your relationship and stress you out more. If you are a dishonest person, you will continue to worry about being caught. Show sincerity and honesty to avoid potential betrayal and delay regaining someone's trust  [1] .

Being open will also help you express your behavior in the best way possible. Your spouse may suspect the worst, but others may exaggerate when they want to say what happened. For this you need to control the story.

2

Put yourself in your partner's shoes and avoid worrying. Your partner is likely to be upset and say negative things. Although you are aware that you have done wrong, it can cause you to be worried and deflect the accusation. You need to remember that your partner is in a lot of pain and she needs to express her feelings  [2] . When you see yourself being forced to be defensive, think about how you would feel if it was your partner who betrayed your trust. This will allow you to take his words as an expression of his pain rather than an attack.

You couldn't do anything to justify your abuse. If your partner becomes verbally or physically aggressive or threatens you in any way, you need to let the situation go and get someone to help you. [3] .

3

Listen seriously to your partner. Show your spouse that you care about her feelings and intentions by rephrasing and thinking about what she has said to you. Repeat her words almost the way she said them. Then think about it by expressing how she feels  [4] .

For example, your partner said you told me you would be there, but you weren't. You knew how important this was to me.

Repeat his remarks by paraphrasing in this way I was not there, although I had made the promise to be there.

Bring out the emotion your partner was feeling by saying I disappointed you.

4

Accept his feelings. It is crucial that your partner feels that you understand him or that you listen to him. Your betrayal is indifference to his welfare. Show your partner you care by describing how your behavior has affected her  [5] . For example, say my behavior is cruel and betrayed your trust.

Try not to use the phrase I know when talking about other people's feelings. Although you don't mean to offend by saying this, some people may interpret this as a haughty expression.

Part

2

Apologize to your partner

1

Explain your reasons for doing so. What made you betray your partner? You are responsible for your actions, but understanding the emotions behind your action can lead your partner to empathize, which will help you avoid such situations in the near future  [6] . Say how you feel and then describe your behavior. For example, you can say I didn't feel safe in our relationship and had to turn to other people.

Use sentences beginning with I to avoid giving your spouse the impression that you blame her  [7] .

 

 

2

Think about behaving differently later. It's important that you help your partner see how you will avoid offending them in the future. Identify what prompted you to engage in this behavior and how you could prevent it from happening again. For example, if your behavior is influenced by a particular person, make a commitment not to be alone with this person again. This could be going to parties (which this individual is likely to be at) with another friend or your partner or leaving when you find yourself alone with this person.

Talking to your partner and trying to find solutions to your problems should always be part of the plan.

3

Be sincere. Express genuine remorse and regret for betraying your partner. Chances are she'll trust you if she thinks you'll take steps to avoid potential unpleasant emotions as a result of your behavior  [8] .

Avoid making promises you can't or don't intend to keep. If you fail to keep those promises, it will make your first excuses hypocritical.

 

 

Part

3

To prove himself

1

Communicate clearly with your partner. It is likely that a lack of communication resulted in the betrayal. One of you (or both of you) might not be honest or open with the other. To make sure this issue is resolved, identify what are barriers to your not communicating as you should and ways to avoid this. By doing so, your partner will see that you have made a commitment to avoid potential betrayal  [9] .

If you and your spouse find it difficult to talk about your feelings, agree to send each other letters about related topics of feelings.

If you and your partner aren't talking enough to each other, consider setting up weekly dates to discuss your relationship.

If you can't figure out why you're not getting on well, consider seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. The latter can help you find and solve communication problems.

2

Ask your partner what she needs. You may be running out of methods as to how to win back his trust. If so, ask her what you can do to help her start trusting you again. This may involve chatting frequently, spending more time with her, seeing a marriage counselor, being patient, or something else. Ask your spouse to guide your behavior in a way that builds trust.

*

3

Call or text regularly. Calling most of the day shows that you are thinking of your spouse. This will allay her fear by showing her that you are acting without regard for her. If your spouse has a special connection to you, she'll be more likely to trust you.  [10] .

A great way to keep in touch without you being needy is to send him funny pictures or brief descriptions of funny chats you've had with other people.

*

4

Organize activities. The goal is to spend time together, without thinking about betrayal. When you've apologized and considered doing something else, try not to dwell on hurtful situations. Refocus on the present moment by doing fun activities together  [11] . If you spend more time with your partner, she will worry less about what you are doing when you are not with her.

Find a hobby that you enjoy doing together. It will increase the time you spend together and can strengthen your relationship.

 Image intitulée Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 12

5

Thank your partner. Show her how much you appreciate her and how important your relationship is to you. When your partner feels loved, she will feel secure in the relationship  [12] .

Make an effort to leave notes of appreciation where you're sure she'll see them.

If you show your appreciation with gifts, be careful not to make your spouse feel like you're trying to buy her forgiveness for the situation.

Tidy up the house a bit to show your spouse that you appreciate it and notice how much she does.

 Image intitulée Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 13

6

Accept that it will take time. Be patient with your partner as she tries to trust you again. This is not your responsibility and trying to speed up the process may lead your partner to think that you are not respecting their emotions  [13] .

Rather than focusing on a situation over which you have no control, you are better off focusing on the things you have the ability to control like being trustworthy and true to yourself  [14 ] .

Show your spouse that you've made long-term changes. Don't just take short-term actions and then go back to old habits  [15] .

Warnings

Avoid blaming your partner for your behavior. This will cause more harm to your relationship.