How to Talk to a Girl Without Boring Her
In this article: Get off to a good start Arouse his interest To end well Related articles
The last time you talked to a girl, you talked about your math homework, your dentist appointment, and ended up cracking your knuckles while the girl stared at her feet. Don't worry: all the boys have been there. It's okay if your last conversation wasn't as exciting as the last Hunger Games. If you prepare yourself, the next time the girl may well be captivated.
Part
1
Get off to a good start
1
Choose a light subject. When you're talking to a girl for the first time, pick a light topic that you can both discuss without it getting weird. Don't talk about a rash on your back or ask him to tell you about his worst memory. Save that for when you want to get to know yourself better. Stick to general topics that can lead to interesting conversations without making anyone feel uncomfortable. Don't be rude! Girls want to be treated with respect. Here are some general, yet cool, topics you can safely discuss:
your favorite band
movies you've seen recently
if you have pets
your siblings, if you have any
what you did last weekend or what you are going to do next
your plans for the next vacation
2
Avoid things that are too personal. Avoiding personal topics goes hand in hand with starting a conversation with a light topic. Although you can have a more personal discussion once you get to know each other better, avoid discussing deaths in your family, your first loves, or your fear of death. If you feel a connection between this girl and you is already there, then you'll talk faster than you think about more personal topics, but avoid them to begin with or the girl might back off.
Of course, if she herself brings up a personal subject and seems ready to talk about it, follow her and see where it leads, but be careful.
Watch his facial expressions and body language. If she twitches or seems hurt by something you asked her that seemed trivial to you, it may turn out to be a sensitive topic for her.
3
Smile. Having a smiling, open face will keep this girl interested and want to talk to you. You don't have to keep a smile set on numbing your cheeks, just smile when the time is right. This way, this young person will see that you enjoy talking with her and this will leave a positive impression on her. You can be so nervous that you forget to smile, so try to keep that in mind.
Smiling is especially important when you start a conversation and when you end it. Start and end positively.
4
Look at her. Eye contact is very important for the other person to feel your interest in them and in what they are saying. You may feel intimidated and look at your feet or around you for fear of looking her in the eye, but make an effort and take it upon yourself. Also, don't seem captivated or completely in love: she might be scared of it. Just try to look her in the eye when she talks to you, make her feel important.
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5
Ask him questions. To make her feel special, you can ask her questions about what she's been up to lately. No need to be too personal and in fact don't be, but show her that you care about her and want to get to know her. If she doesn't return questions to you, stop asking questions. She might feel questioned. Some ideas of questions you could ask him:
his hobbies and interests
her favorite books, the bands she listens to or the TV shows she watches
the subjects she prefers in college or high school
her dream job
his best friends
his projects
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6
Give him compliments. Once you've talked a little, you can give her a few compliments that will make her happy. Don't overdo it and only tell him what you mean. Make a comment about her sweater, hairstyle, jewelry, or even an aspect of her personality. Don't be "too physical" (you have great legs) or she might feel uncomfortable. Give her a compliment that remains classic, to show her that she matters to you, without skipping the steps either.
One compliment at a time is a good goal. You don't want to shower her with compliments or else you won't mean everything you say.
Part
2
Arouse his interest
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1
Find commonalities. Once the conversation has started, you can start looking for commonalities. You don't have to have everything in common to have an interesting discussion, but it can help bring you closer. When you're talking with a girl, find things you could share, like a sports team, a sport, a place you've lived, a teacher you both had.
Talking about things you have in common can open up the conversation even more. For example, you discover that you are a fan of the French handball team and that you both took part in their French Cup final in Paris. You end the conversation by talking about the last time you were in Paris, what you did there and that's how conversations develop.
Rather than constantly asking if she likes the same things as you, let it be! Stay open and the conversations will follow. Rather than asking her if she's seen the latest superhero movie, that it's your new favorite movie, ask her what she's seen that's interesting lately.
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2
Ask her for her opinion. It's also another way to make the conversation interesting and lively and this girl will think that her opinion is important to you. If you ask her what she thinks of the current political situation or how she finds your shoes, she'll know that you care about her opinion, that you respect her as a person, and that you're not just trying to flirt with her.
Don't ask closed-ended questions that require a "yes" or "no" answer. Begin your questions with “what do you think of…. ", " how do you find…. ".
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3
Use your environment. If you're nervous and the conversation is slipping, use your surroundings to your advantage. If you've seen a poster for an upcoming gig, ask her if she knows and likes the band. You have just passed in front of a cyber cafe, ask her if she has already been there. While you shouldn't look around distractedly when you start chatting, if you're running out of things to talk about, the environment around you can be helpful, so keep your eyes peeled.
It takes creativity to keep a girl interested and talking. She will be impressed with your insight.
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4
Make her laugh. If you want this girl to stay interested, making her laugh won't hurt. If you make her laugh, she'll want to see you again. Find the right time to be funny. Laugh at yourself or someone you both know, while remaining polite. You can, if you feel she is receptive, tell her the last joke you heard. If you have a funny story to tell that you think will make her laugh and it's not too long, then tell it to her. Again, do not overdo it, but do not hesitate to make her laugh at the right time.
If humor isn't your strong point, don't try to be someone you're not. The girl will see that you are trying to make an effort and may feel bad for you. Be yourself and if you make her laugh at the same time, so much the better.
If you don't know this girl very well, then don't tease her, unless you are already flirting with her and teasing each other. She might get upset and feel offended, and you don't want that.
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5
Let her talk. You may be so afraid of boring him that you could monopolize the conversation without giving him time to talk. Talking nonstop doesn't mean he's interested in you. On the contrary, taking breaks or remaining silent is an opportunity for her to speak up and say something interesting. Don't be too nervous and try to talk as much as each other.
If the conversation revolves exclusively around you, you'll seem focused on yourself and she won't want to see you again.
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6
Ask him what interests him. Most girls like to talk about what interests them, so be sure to ask her what she likes to do for fun, if she does it often, why she likes it more than anything else. You won't have to pray to her much and you'll see her face light up when she starts talking to you about what's really important to her. She'll feel special, and she'll appreciate your caring about what matters to her.
If she doesn't go into too much detail when telling you about her interests, then you can tell her about yours as well.
Part
3
To end well
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1
Show him what sets you apart. You don't have to somersault to stand out from the crowd and leave the right impression. However, you prefer to leave each other, after this first conversation, leaving this young girl with the impression of knowing you a little better and of having discovered what distinguishes you from the others. It could be your sense of humor, your charm or even your love of the guitar. Whatever it is, she'll get a taste of who you are. So, the next time you see her, she will remember your conversation and know what to talk about from the first minutes.
She doesn't need to know everything about you in the first ten or fifteen minutes of your conversation. But she should know a couple of interesting things about you. If you have remained superficial throughout your meeting, it will be difficult to really know you.
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2
Don't overdo it. Relax and be yourself and remember that this girl will be just as nervous as you are. Don't tell her extravagant stories to get her attention. Don't talk about things that don't interest you, such as motorcycles, just because you think it will be "too good". Don't swear, don't be vulgar, just because you think that's how you'll get his attention. Take a deep breath, relax, and talk to him about the things you would talk about with your friends, rather than making up stories.
If you overdo it, the girl will know. Your goal is for her to understand that the important thing is to be and talk with her.
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3
Stay positive. When you feel like the conversation is heating up, remember to stay positive. If you've spent the last five minutes complaining about your parents, your teachers, the weather, or something that's got you down, that girl's last impression won't be the one she's supposed to take away with you. Your goal is for her to leave you thinking that talking to you was fun and not boring or even painful.
You may feel like complaining, and you can do it a little, if you feel like she might agree with you on a specific topic, but try to save your negative vibes for those who know you better.
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4
Stay confident. Remember to stay confident. Show this girl that you mean what you say and that you are happy for who you are. If she feels it, she will see that you are good about yourself and that talking with you is interesting. If you're nervous, self-deprecating, or commenting on your inability to find a pleasant topic of conversation, she'll feel awkward and won't want to see you again.
You don't have to act like you're the most interesting guy on the planet or worthy of being a movie star. Just be “you” and happy to “be you” and the rest will follow.
There is a distinct difference between bragging and displaying a certain amount of self-confidence. If you brag, the girl will know.
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5
Leave while you're having fun. It's a good way to end a first meeting and leave a good impression. If you think everything is going well, you're having a great time, and you really "hook up" with this girl, tell her how much you love chatting with her, but that you have to leave. Even if it seems ridiculous to you to leave in the middle of a moment like this, it's exactly what you should do to leave the best impression. If you wait too long, you might find nothing to talk about and then why would she want to see you again if you had nothing more to say to each other after your first meeting? Wait until you have reached the best moment, then, as nicely as possible, tell him that you have to leave.
If you're feeling brave and this conversation went really well, then ask her out on a date.
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