How to show maturity

How to show maturity

How to show maturity

 

References

In this article: behave with maturity  Developing emotional maturity  Communicate like an adult be courteous  Related articles  References

Maturity is not a matter of age. There are reasonable people who are only six years old and others who are childish despite their eighty years. In reality, it is the way of thinking and behaving towards yourself and others  [1] . So, if arguments and childish conversations tire you and you want those around you to show you more respect, try the methods outlined below to learn how to be more mature. Regardless of your age, when you behave properly, you will impose your adult status on those around you.

 

 

 

Method

1

behave with maturity

1

Expand your interests. You will look childish if you lack dynamism or if you do not indulge in a leisure activity. Practice with excellence an activity that you love. Thus, you will give the impression of being more experienced and wiser. You will also have a topic of conversation with your comrades, whether or not they practice your activity.

Try to be active and creative in your spare time. It's fun to watch a TV show all at once, but it's not necessarily the best way to spend your time. That doesn't mean you have to stop enjoying movies, TV, and video games, just consider making time to do other things  [2] .

A hobby can stimulate your creativity and increase your self-esteem. It can also excite your nerve centers which cause the feeling of happiness and contentment  [3] .

There really are no limits to what you can do! Buy a camera and take some photography. Learn to play a musical instrument. Practice a foreign language. Learn “multivocalism” (beatbox). Create a life-size role-play group. Simply, be sure to choose an activity that you enjoy, otherwise your exercise will quickly turn into a chore.

 

 

2

Set goals and work to accomplish them. Being mature also means being able to assess your strengths, identify your weaknesses and set goals for the future. Look to the future and let it inform your choices in life. Once you have defined clear, achievable and measurable objectives, all you have to do is take the appropriate steps to achieve them  [4] .

Setting goals may seem difficult to you, but don't worry! All you need is a little time and planning. First, identify what you want to improve. For example, you want to refine your resume in preparation for enrolling in college. This is a starting point for defining your goals.

Start by considering some questions. Which ? What ? When ? Where ? How? 'Or' What ? Why ?

Which ? These are the people who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the first concerned. However, a tutor, volunteer coordinator or counselor may also be involved in the process.

What ? What are you looking to accomplish? At this point, precision is key. “Getting ready for college” is too broad a goal . It's best not to start with a goal like this. Instead, choose intermediate goals that will help you achieve your main goal, such as "volunteer" and "participate in an extracurricular activity."

When ? This is to define a timeline for the execution of the phases of your plan. This timeline will help you stay on track. For example, if you wish to volunteer, you need to know the deadline for submitting applications, the nature of the activities and your period of availability.

Where ? It is often helpful to know where you will be working on achieving your goal. For the example of volunteering, you may decide to go to an animal shelter.

How? 'Or' What ? In this step, it is a question of determining how to achieve each intermediate objective to reach your main objective. For example, how will you connect with the animal shelter? How would you get to this shelter? How will you divide your time between your volunteering and your other tasks? You will need to answer these questions.

Why ? Believe it or not, this is probably the most important part of the process. You will reach your goal more easily if you give it meaning and if you can integrate it into your overall vision  [5] . Determine why your goal is important. For example, “I want to volunteer at an animal shelter to enrich my resume and prepare for university pre-selection exams”.

3

Know when it's possible to be funny. To show maturity, it is not necessary to behave seriously all the time. True maturity is knowing your surroundings and determining whether it's appropriate to be funny or not. It is preferable to set different limits and adjust your behavior according to the situation  [6] .

Try to set aside some of your time for fun. You need to let off steam and act crazy. Set aside some time each day, say after school, to indulge in wacky weirdness.

Try to understand that ridicule is generally not appropriate in official places, such as school, church, the workplace, or especially at funerals. You are supposed to be attentive and refrain from annoying those around you. In these situations, stupidity will usually be equated with a lack of maturity.

However, in other situations, like hanging out with friends or even family, you can afford to be funny. Your behavior can even help you strengthen your bonds with your loved ones.

Establish criteria for determining when you can crack jokes. Don't be mean, don't put other people down or play tricks on them.

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4

Respect others. We are all obliged to live together on earth. If you intentionally annoy others or do whatever you want without considering other people's feelings, you will definitely be immaturity. By respecting those around you, you will prove that you are a responsible and respectful person.

Respecting others doesn't mean letting everyone walk all over you. In fact, it's about listening to others and treating them the way you would like to be treated yourself. If the person you're talking to is rude or disparaging, don't overreact. Just end the conversation to show her that you're above pettiness.

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Choose responsible friends. Your friends can influence your behavior. Be sure to associate with people who will help you improve, rather than wasting your time with people who are only trying to get you down.

Method

2

Developing emotional maturity

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1

Don't be a bully. Often, bullying behaviors have their origins in a feeling of insecurity or a lack of self-esteem. It may be a way for some to impose their will on others. Bullying is bad for the person who bullies and the person who is bullied  [7] . If you tend to bully, try to solve your problem by talking about the issue with someone you trust, such as a parent or school counselor.

Bullying can take three basic forms. It is either verbal, social or physical  [8] .

Verbal bullying includes name-calling, threats and hurtful comments. If the words do not cause physical harm, they can lead to deep wounds. Be careful with your words and avoid saying words to someone that you wouldn't want to be said about you.

Social bullying is harming someone's reputation or relationships. It comes in various forms, such as avoiding others, spreading rumors or gossip, or humiliating others.

Physical bullying is often about hurting someone or damaging something. Generally speaking, physical violence falls within the scope of physical intimidation. Therefore, you physically intimidate someone if you make rude gestures. This is also the case when you take his property by force or destroy it.

Do not allow acts of intimidation in your presence. You don't have to physically oppose a bully. In fact, it can be really dangerous. However, there are many ways to secure your environment. You can try the following actions  [9]  :

set a good example by not intimidating others,

tell someone irresponsible that their attitude is neither funny nor pleasant,

show sympathy to the victims,

tell an adult about bullying.

If you feel you have a bullying problem, consider discussing it with a counselor or therapist. You may have more serious issues that cause you to lash out at those around you. A counselor can help you improve your relationships with others.

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2

Avoid spreading gossip or rumours. You should also refrain from talking about others behind their backs. These are behaviors that can hurt them in the manner of a punch in the figure  [10] . Even unintentional gossip can do a lot of harm. Responsible people pay attention to the needs and feelings of others and avoid doing hurtful things.

Gossiping won't make you more interesting or more famous. Studies have shown that you may be more popular if you gossip when you're in fifth grade. But in ninth grade, when you're wiser, spreading false rumors is usually  punishable .

Don't encourage gossip either. If someone is gossiping in your presence, don't let them. Research has shown that in such a case, even if one person says "hey, I don't agree with your nonsense", the situation can change completely  [12] .

Sometimes you can say a nice thing about someone, but others can misunderstand it. Suppose you say to a friend something like, “I really like hanging out with Zoe. She is so funny! Unfortunately, someone else twists your words by claiming you said something mean. You can't control how people interpret or respond to what you say. You can only control what you say and do yourself. So make sure your words are kind  [13] .

To differentiate between gossip and kind words, ask yourself if you're okay with the words in question being said about you. If the answer is negative, keep your words to yourself  [14] .

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3

Know how to react if someone is not nice to you. If you can, do not answer and your silence will reflect your displeasure. Otherwise, just tell the person they were talking to that their words were offensive. If the person offers you an apology, accept it. Otherwise, just walk away.

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4

Keep an open mind . Responsible people are like that. Just because you haven't known or tried something doesn't mean you should ignore it or deny its existence. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to learn something new or get to know someone different  [15] [16] .

If someone's beliefs or habits are different from yours, refrain from making judgment immediately. Instead, ask questions and ask your interviewer to tell you more about the topic or justify their attitude.

Try talking less and listening more, at least initially. Do not interrupt your interlocutor, for example by saying "but, I think". Let him talk instead. You will be surprised by what you will learn.

Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something incorrect, encourage them to provide clarification before passing judgment. For example, if you think someone has insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath before saying, “You said...Is that true? If he retracts, accept his explanations.

Don't expect the worst from others. In your relationships, expect everyone to be okay, just like you. Your comrades probably don't want to be mean or hurtful, but they can be wrong too. Learn to accept people as they are and you will be on your way to becoming more responsible.

Sometimes you just can't agree with your interviewer. It's normal. Sometimes you just have to defend your point of view. It is also showing maturity.

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5

Have confidence in yourself . Don't apologize for your eccentricities or quirks, even if others don't appreciate them. You are free to express your individuality as long as your behaviors are not antisocial or dangerous. Responsible people don't anticipate their reactions and don't try to be what they are not.

Practice leisure activities and develop the skills you already master, in order to build your self-confidence. You will learn that you are capable of achieving anything you want and that you have a range of skills that you can share with your fellow students.

Watch your inner voice. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, ask yourself if you can tell a friend about them. If you can't do it, why bother? Try to rephrase these negative thoughts in a helpful way  [17] .

For example, you can say to yourself the following thing: “I am constantly among the losers! I row in mathematics and I will never make progress”. This thought is not comforting at all and you are definitely not going to share it with a friend.

Reframe your thinking to determine a remedy for your problem. Here's an example: “I'm not very good at math, but I can try harder. Even if I don't get an A in class, at least I'll know I did my best."

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6

Be yourself. A mark of real maturity is being sincere. You can be assertive without being arrogant or pompous. A wise person does not try to demoralize others or lie to enhance himself  [18] .

Talk about the things that really interest you. When you take care of something, you will look good.

When you have negative thoughts about yourself, you may be tempted to ignore them. Suppose you're worried about your exam next week, your first reaction would be to say, "I'm not afraid of anything", but you know deep down that's not true. It is more reasonable to admit your worry and weakness. Everyone can lack self-confidence at one time or another. It's perfectly normal.

Express your feelings clearly. If you want to deal with your emotions and appear wiser, avoid beating around the bush or being passive and aggressive . Be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to speak your mind  [19] .

Act according to your conscience. Sometimes others may criticize you or make fun of you if you do. However, if you stick to your principles, you will know that you have been true to yourself. If your classmates laugh at you, you really don't need their opinion  anymore .

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7

Accept your personal responsibility. This is perhaps the most important point to apply to reach maturity. You must accept responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that you are not the only person affected by the events. Indeed, you are only an actor in your own life. Therefore, your words and actions have consequences for both yourself and others. Admit that you can make mistakes. Also recognize that you cannot control the actions of  others .

Accept your responsibility when things go wrong. Suppose you failed an essay, don't blame your teacher. Think about what you did to get a bad result. What can you improve next time?

Don't give much importance to whether something is right or wrong. Things aren't always fair in life and sometimes you don't get what you deserve. Responsible people do not allow injustice to stand in their way.

Control what you can. Sometimes you feel like you are out of control. True, but only partially. You can't force the local restaurant manager to hire you or force your friend to go out with you. But there are things you can control. Here are some examples.

For employment, you can proofread and refine your resume. You can also prepare thoroughly for the job interview, dress neatly for the interview, and show up on time. No matter how hard you try, you might not get the job, but at least you'll know you did everything you could to succeed.

Regarding your relationships: you can be respectful, funny and caring. You can also be sincere with the other person, take the first step and tell them that you would like to have a relationship. These are things you control. Even if you don't succeed, you'll have peace of mind because you've been true to yourself and shown your best side.

Don't accept defeat. Most of the time people give up because they don't dare to try again. It's much easier to think, "I'm a loser." Still, it's much better to tell yourself, "This approach didn't work well, but I'll see if there's anything else I can do to make it work!" Therefore, accept the consequences of your choices and persevere until you get satisfaction.

Method

3

Communicate like an adult

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1

Control your emotions . Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be controlled. Avoid overreacting to little things that don't matter. Instead of getting angry, take ten seconds to think before you do or say anything. This will prevent you from committing regrettable acts and help you communicate better  [22] .

Use this pause to truly understand the situation you find yourself in. What is the real problem? Why are you angry? You may find that you are really angry about something that happened two days ago and not because of the immediate tidying up of your room.

Think about finding solutions to your problem. Consider the possible reactions before choosing one. What is the appropriate solution?

Think about the consequences. At this point, many people are at risk of tripping. Often the most appealing solution is to think that you can do whatever you want. But would you be able to solve the problem like this? Or are you going to make it worse? Think about the consequences of each option.

Choose a solution. After examining the possible consequences, choose the solution that suits you best. Note that it won't always be the easiest or the most fun! It's just part of the process you need to follow to strengthen your maturity.

If you must speak, speak calmly and give reasonable arguments to justify your point of view. If your interlocutor does not want to understand anything, stop the discussion and leave to avoid unnecessary conflict.

Take a deep breath and count to ten when you're upset or about to overreact. You have to control yourself and not give in to anger.

If you get carried away easily, people can take advantage of it to provoke you. But, if you know how to keep your cool, they will leave you alone because they know that their attempt will not be followed.

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2

Learn assertive communication techniques. These techniques are used by adults when they want to communicate reasonably. Don't confuse assertiveness with cockiness, arrogance, or aggression. Assertive people express their feelings and needs clearly. In addition, they listen attentively to others when they speak  [23] . Arrogant and selfish people don't care about the needs of others. They seek only to get what they want, when they want, without taking into account the misfortune of others. Learn to defend your interests without being arrogant or aggressive and you will certainly be wiser. Here are some suggestions on how to communicate assertively  [24] [25] .

Speak in the first person singular I. By using sentences containing the personal pronoun you or you , you will seem to blame your interlocutor and this one will be tempted to cut short the conversation. By focusing on your feelings and experiences, you will leave the way open for a constructive and reasonable exchange.

For example, instead of telling your parents "you never listen to me," try using a sentence that contains the personal pronoun je , such as "I feel like my words weren't understood."

Also recognize the needs of others. You don't live on a desert island. It's great to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to be kind to others. Putting the needs of others first is a true sign of maturity.

Don't jump to conclusions. If you're not sure what happened with someone, find out! Don't make assumptions and remember that you often miss information.

For example, if your friend forgot her promise to go shopping with you, don't assume she's obnoxious or insensitive.

Use a first person statement and ask him or her to speak on the issue. For example: “I was really disappointed when you couldn't come with me to the supermarket. What happened ? »

Try to collaborate with others. Instead of saying "I want to skateboard", ask what your classmates would like to do.

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3

Avoid constantly swearing . Many peoples and cultures do not allow swearing or profanity. A swear word can surprise or even offend your interlocutors and they may think that you don't know how to communicate  [26] . Instead of swearing, try to expand your vocabulary and use your new words to talk about yourself.

If you swear frequently when you're upset or when your feelings are hurt, replace your swear words with original exclamations. For example, if you're tapping your toes, say something funny and impressive instead, like "Gee! »

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4

Speak politely and refrain from raising your voice. If you raise your voice, especially when you're angry, you're likely to make people feel uncomfortable. They may even refuse to listen to you  [27] . It is the children who are screaming and not the responsible adults.

Adopt a calm voice, even when you are upset  [28] .

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5

Pay attention to your body language. Your body can express as many feelings as your words. For example, by crossing your arms, you show others that their words do not interest you. A permanently slumped posture denotes that you are not there and that you wish to be somewhere else. Learn the meaning of your body language and make sure it conveys what you want to say  [29] [30] .

Keep your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you.

Stand up straight, lifting your chest and looking straight ahead.

Remember that your face reflects your thoughts. Don't roll your eyes or look down.

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Have serious conversations with people. For example, you can talk about school, current events, life experiences and the lessons you have learned from them. Of course, you can afford to be funny with your friends. It all depends on the situations you are in. You'll probably be talking about different topics, depending on whether you're with your best friend or your math teacher.

Ask questions. Know that intellectual curiosity is also a sign of maturity. If you ever gossip about someone, you won't seem very mature. Ask others for their opinions. If someone brings up something interesting, encourage them to tell you more.

Don't pretend to know something you don't. You will likely find it difficult to admit your shortcomings as you seek to come across as mature and informed. But by doing so, you will look like a foolish person and you may even believe it yourself. Therefore, it's better to say something like "I haven't read much on this issue. I will inform myself ! »

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7

Say kind words. If you can't say something constructive, don't say anything. An irresponsible person constantly criticizes and points out other people's faults. She doesn't hesitate to slur about anything. Sometimes she justifies her cruelty by claiming that she is objective . In contrast, a mature person chooses his words carefully and avoids altering the feelings of others. So remember to be careful with your words and don't say words that hurt other people's feelings. Treat people the way you want to be treated yourself.

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8

Learn to sincerely acknowledge your mistakes . No matter how mature you are, you are likely to inadvertently say bad things and hurt your fellow human beings from time to time. Sometimes we all do silly things, because no one on this earth is perfect. Learn to put your pride in the background and apologize when necessary. In case of error, a sincere and honest apology demonstrates real maturity.

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9

Tell the truth while being compassionate . It's really hard to master, but when you think about the response you want from someone, you'll be able to choose your words more easily. Among Buddhists, there is a saying that says: "before speaking, always check if what you are going to say is true and benevolent". Think about these words before you speak. People around you will appreciate your honesty and by being compassionate, you will show your attachment to others  [31] .

For example, when a friend asks you if her dress will make her appear fatter, think twice before answering. Beauty is a very subjective concept. Therefore, your opinion on your friend's appearance will probably not be very useful. However, you will meet your friend's expectations if you tell her that she will look great in her new dress.

If you really think your friend's dress isn't attractive, there are several ways you can express your doubts about whether your review is useful. For example, here is a possible answer: "you know, I prefer your red dress to this one". By answering this way, you avoid bringing up your friend's build and appearance in her new dress.

Behavioral scientists suggest that sometimes a harmless lie helps social relationships because it can save you from hurting or embarrassing someone. It's up to you whether you can do that or not. Whatever you choose, be kind  [32] .

Method

4

be courteous

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1

Be polite when interacting with others. Shake your hands frankly and look your interlocutor straight in the eyes. If in your culture you greet differently, use your way of doing it in a correct and polite manner. When you meet someone, make an effort to remember their name by saying, "Nice to meet you, Paul." Good manners show the respect you give to your interlocutor and prove your maturity  [33] .

During the conversation, listen attentively while looking at your interlocutor without staring at him. Apply the 50/70 rule by making eye contact for 50% of your speaking time and 70% of the other person's speaking time  [34] .

Avoid stirring or fiddling with random objects. Know that restlessness denotes insecurity. Keep your hands open and relaxed.

Don't stay there with your mind elsewhere. Most people will easily recognize your nonchalance and resent your lack of interest.

Pay attention to your conversation partner instead of disrespecting them by using your cell phone to talk to your friends or send them messages.

When you start a new relationship or move into a new community, sit still for a while and examine the behaviors of those around you. It is not for you to tell others what to do. Instead, respectfully observe your surroundings.

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2

Observe good online practices. By applying the basic rules of good manners in your relations on the Internet, you will respect your friends, your family and your correspondents in general. It is a sign of maturity. Remember that most of your online actions can be seen by people like your employer, your teacher, etc. So be careful not to say hurtful or embarrassing  words .

Avoid violent or shocking expressions. Don't overuse exclamation marks. Remember that you are not there in person to clarify your point of view. So be careful not to embarrass your interlocutors.

Use the Shift key . Instead of writing everything in lowercase, capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of sentences. Avoid using capital letters indiscriminately, as your text may become illegible.

Also avoid writing only with capital letters. On the web, this equates to protests. You can do this to tweet about your hockey team winning the championship, but avoid doing this in your daily emails and social media  conversations .

Begin your e-mail messages with a greeting, such as “my dear John”. If you forget this formula, your mail will seem rude, especially if you are writing to someone you don't know well or to someone of a certain rank, such as your teacher. Conclude your letter with a polite phrase, such as "thank you" or "sincerely."

Proofread your text before sending it, whether it's an email or a social media post, to make sure it's error-free. Use complete sentences and be sure to add appropriate punctuation at the end of each sentence.

Don't overuse abbreviations, slang words and emoticons. It is acceptable to use these elements in a message intended for one of your friends, but avoid placing them in an email to your teacher or in another context where you wish to show your maturity.

Don't lose sight of the golden rule online, just as you do in everyday life. Treat others as you want to be treated yourself . If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them. If you don't have anything good to say, keep quiet.

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3

Be helpful. Hold doors, help pick up items, and offer help to anyone who needs it. Also consider helping your community. Mentor a young student, tutor or work at an animal shelter. When you contribute to the happiness of others, you are more likely to be happy yourself. You will show a lot of maturity by helping others instead of just taking care of yourself.

Helpful acts can also boost your self-esteem. According to studies that have been done on the issue, it appears that when we assist others, we feel a sense of accomplishment and pride because of what we have done  [37] .

Help is not always reciprocal. Sometimes you help other people who don't even say thank you and don't offer to help you in return. They are at fault. But remember that if you are assisting someone, you are doing yourself a favor first, not trying to get anything in return.

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4

Avoid taking center stage all the time. When you monopolize the floor, without giving your interlocutor a chance to speak, you behave in a way that lacks respect and maturity. When you pay close attention to the interests and experiences of others, you will be more responsible and less selfish. You can also learn something new or show respect for someone based on what you've heard about them.

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5

Accept compliments and criticism with serenity. If someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you . Be polite if someone criticizes you. Say something like, "Okay, I'll think about what you told me." It's possible that the criticism isn't valid, but by responding politely, you immediately demonstrate your maturity of  mind .

Try not to feel criticized. Sometimes people are full of good will, but they don't know how to express themselves properly. If you are in this situation, ask for clarification. Here's an example: “I heard you say you didn't like my essay. Could you tell me more so that I can do better next time? »

Sometimes criticism relates more to the person making it than to the person receiving it. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the person you are talking to is simply trying to make themselves look better by demoralizing you. So don't let him.

Accepting criticism graciously does not mean giving up your right to defend yourself. When someone hurts your feelings, respond calmly and politely. Here's an example: “I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but when you criticized my outfit, I was really shocked. Next time, please refrain from commenting on my appearance”.

Advice

Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. In fact, this is the very definition of maturity.

Write down the goals you will need to achieve to become more mature and plan your actions to achieve them. For example, you may decide to start by calming down instead of talking about yourself all the time. Work for a week and then evaluate your results. Even if you don't succeed the first time, keep trying.

Spread grace around you. Even if someone doesn't deserve a second chance, give it anyway. You will gain in importance and you will look more mature.

Know how to adapt to the situations you encounter. Orange spiky hair can express your individuality, but if you work in a formal setting, your appearance can trick those around you into thinking you're immature, even if you're not.

Also try to take care of other matters. You will look more responsible.

Know that punctuality is a quality!

Strive to be kind, understanding, and friendly to everyone! Be sure to behave like this at all times.

Maturity is difficult to acquire. However, do not change your personality to become wiser. Instead, be sure to be yourself while behaving impeccably. It is no longer a question of who is the oldest and who is the youngest. If you want those around you to take you seriously, examine the way you behave with others and once you have made your choice, respect it and defend it firmly. If something goes wrong, do your best to stay calm and think about the next step. Do not unload yourself on others, because these are the consequences of your actions and therefore it is up to you to assume them. Act like an adult and be responsible.

When you are in conflict with others, avoid arguments and instead seek to resolve your problem calmly in a rational manner. If things get ugly, end the discussion as soon as possible.

Take criticism seriously. If someone tells you that you act like a child, relax and try to find ways to improve yourself. Don't get upset because of what you've been told, but take the opportunity to get to know yourself better.